I love

I love my family. I love my friends. I love you. I love me.
I love to dance. I love to sing. I love to travel. I love adventures.
I love photography. I love art. I love music. I love creativity.
I love the ocean.
I love the sun. I love the moon. I love the stars.
I love to draw. I love to paint. I love chalk. I love blowing bubbles.
I love to color.
I LOVE LOVE
I love yellow. I love blue. I love rainbows. I love the rain.
I love the trees. I love flowers. I love butterflies. I love the Earth.
I love the air. I love the sky.
I love hugs. I love kisses. I love him who ever he is where ever he is.
I love peace. I love happiness. I love smiles. I love it when I get the giggles.
I love meeting new people. I love making new friends.
I love my puppy. I love to swim. I love dolphins. I love penquins.
I love to read. I love learning new things. I love life.
I love my life. I love it all...

quote of the day

http://superforest.org/

grandfather

Today we buried my grandfather on my dads side of the family. I've only known him for 13 years, I met him the same year I met my father for the first time. He was a kind man, I wish I would have known him better. I wish he'd been a part of my life as a child. At the services today people kept telling me 'your grandfather was a great man, a kind man.' 'he's helped me out plenty of times'. All kind words. I found myself crying because I missed not having him in my life my first 18 years rather than because he was gone. It felt weird being there with all these people who've known him much longer then I have. I looked around and thought to myself, all these people are my family and I don't know half of them and I started crying even more. I found myself hiding in the back of the funeral home, up against a wall. I studied everyone, their facial expressions, their tears, their laughs. I overheard stories of that camping trip at Canyon Lake, or that Barbeque where he burned the meat... etc... etc... Then I thought of my memories of him in the short time I knew him and one stood out the most. It was my birthday, two years ago. We were at my dads house for a dinner they were having for me. When it came time for me to blow out the candles on my cake he started to cry. I turned towards him and he said 'you're so beautiful, I'm glad we have you in our lives now. I know it's your birthday but I want to make a wish for you. I wish for you to have an amazing life from here on out.' then he kissed my hand and told me he loved me. That is the fondest memory I have of him and I will cherish it forever.

too cute

he fell asleep on my shoe.

quote of the day

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”

~ Fenderx Morrie Schwartz

home alone randomness

today is the third day I've been home all alone. no one to talk to but my puppy. listening to music, thinking way too much and catching up on shows I've missed during the week due to working late. I need to stop watching t.v. actually. I feel like it's clouding my brain.

I've registered for school next semester. pretty stoked about it. more photography classes in hopes that one day my dream of working for National Geographic will come true.

my puppy fell asleep on my shoes again next to the doggie bed we bought him. he's a tiny little thing. cute as a button.

I have no idea what this blog is about, maybe it's just me being bored and lonely.

been listening to this song below over and over again. it helps me relax. it's my go to song when I need to "get away" from the outside world. I can get lost in it, like what I'm going to do when I finish writing this blog.

*I'm floating down a river, oars freed from their holes long ago.
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel. I marvel at the stars, and feel
my heart overflow.*



GOOD NIGHT!

funk shmunk

I woke up yesterday in a bit of a funk. I think it was caused by me being tired
from lack of sleep and stress from thinking about stuff way more then
I should. I was able to de-funk myself by noon. now a days I can pretty much talk my self well, as I like to call it, in no time. I used to just let it take control and then it would end up lasting a couple days and thats no fun. For the past few years I've been extremely open and happy and positive. Opening my heart to all and everything and just letting myself be.

I was in a major funk for a couple years after my grandmother passed away. She was an amazing women, I was angry that she had to leave us so soon and upset at myself for not being here when she needed me (moved to California for a year, long story) Then it got to the point where being sad / mad and feeling sorry for myself just wasn't cutting it anymore. I had to slap myself out of it. I hid alot of my pain from my family, somehow I felt that I needed to be strong and not let anyone see me cry. Caging it all in only made it excruciatingly painful when I finally did let it out. when I did, it somehow made it easier to breath. To wake up every morning and not feel that pain in my heart. To be glad and extremely grateful for having her in my life as long as I did. To remember the good times and how she made me laugh. I will always love her. I will always remember her. I will always miss her.

quote of the day

People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle.

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

great day

went to visit my aunt's classroom today.
it was a fun day.
a sweet day
a smile on my face all day day.

Food Inc. - a must see!

beautiful

Something very peaceful about the world's 2nd largest aquarium.

I would love to visit there someday.

quote of the day

Her work, I really think her work

if finding what her real work is

and doing it,

her work, her own work,

her being human,

her being in the world.

~Ursula K. Le Guin

auntie mel

I just found out a couple days ago that I am going to be an aunt.

It will be my mom's first grandchild, she's beyond excited. She's finally getting what she's been asking us (me, my brother, and sister) for, for a while now. She'd constantly ask me "when are you going to make me a grandma?" I think it kind of upset her, well I know for a fact it upset her when I told her I wasn't sure if I even wanted children. It's not because I don't like kids, I do... I love kids. I just don't know if parenthood is for me. I'm not going to say never though, because things can change. I can wake up tomorrow with an overwhelming desire to be a mother. For now though I stand unsure.

I'm excited to be an aunt. I'm happy for my sis. And I'm happy for my mom... lol. my mom is a nut, love her to death... she's on cloud nine right now. It's good to see her happy, she's been through alot lately. this new news has liften her up a bit. Seeing her that way lifts me up, because I love to see my momma happy.

quote of the day

“We must go beyond textbooks,

go out into the bypaths and untrodden

depths of the wilderness and travel

and explore and tell the world

the glories of our journey.”

~John Hope Franklin

I am photography... photography is me...

I've uploaded some of my pictures on flickr

still working on getting a website up for my photography

soon. I've just been super busy and a bit broke lately

all my money is going to bills and next semesters tuition

I will get it up though... I don't see it happening this year but most def

next year. *crosses fingers*

for now you can go here to see some of my work

http://www.flickr.com/photos/43566263@N06/

for him where ever he is, who ever he is

you are everything and anything

the sky

the water

the air

my air

come with me

dream with me

be with me

love with me

I can feel you sometimes

I can smell you sometimes

I just want to hold you sometimes

Let me love you all the time.

~ Mel

***

i miss you but i haven't met you yet. so special but it hasn't happened yet. you are gorgeous but i haven't met you yet. i remember but it hasn't happened yet and if you believe in dreams or what is more important that a dream can come true, i will meet you.

~Bjork

yesterday

yesterday a guy at work made fun of my work pants, he said I should care about what I wear to work. I'm thinking 'dude! we work in a photo lab... nobody cares what we wear, they just don't want us to fuck up their pictures.' I don't care what I wear, I'm a thift store girl... give me a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and I'm good. I don't need expensive clothes to make me feel better about myself... or much less to impress anyone. even if I could afford to buy myself all that fancy shit, I don't see the point. Why am I going to pay an arm and a leg for a shirt when I can get one for $5.oo dollars or less at the thift store. The same thing with purses, I was never into the purse thing... paying hundreds of dollars for a name. No thank you! why spend $500 on a purse when you can get a cute little bag / purse at Walmart for $10. Look at how much money you'll be saving. Imagine what you can do with that. You can save it, give it to charity, you can buy a plane ticket to somewhere you've never been... etc.. there are endless possibilities of what you can do with that money other then buy a purse that looks like crap anyway.

my pants aren't that bad, I don't go around dressed up like a homeless person. you can actually find some really great stuff at thift stores, you just have to look. it could take a while but looking through it all is so worth it. I've scored me some pretty rad wear plenty of times. my sister will make fun of me sometimes, her and I are total opposite... she's the girlie girl. I'm the 'hey I just found a kick ass smokey the bear t-shirt at the goodwill for 2 bucks. HELLS YEAH!" kind of girl and I like that girl.... she's cool!

her eyes

She opens her eyes and sees it all

feels it all

is quite confused by it all,

but she still loves the sun.

it's shine brightly and gives her hope.

~Mel

camera in my hand again

I took this picture a couple weeks ago at Hemisphere Park.

***

"I think a photography class should be a requirement in all educational programs because it makes you see the world rather than just look at it." ~unknown

SELF

self

she was a weird one that girl

but she was a good one that girl

always smiling that girl

always laughing that girl.

I like that girl

she's pretty that girl

I wonder if she knows all this that girl

she should... that girl.

~Mel