funk shmunk

I woke up yesterday in a bit of a funk. I think it was caused by me being tired
from lack of sleep and stress from thinking about stuff way more then
I should. I was able to de-funk myself by noon. now a days I can pretty much talk my self well, as I like to call it, in no time. I used to just let it take control and then it would end up lasting a couple days and thats no fun. For the past few years I've been extremely open and happy and positive. Opening my heart to all and everything and just letting myself be.

I was in a major funk for a couple years after my grandmother passed away. She was an amazing women, I was angry that she had to leave us so soon and upset at myself for not being here when she needed me (moved to California for a year, long story) Then it got to the point where being sad / mad and feeling sorry for myself just wasn't cutting it anymore. I had to slap myself out of it. I hid alot of my pain from my family, somehow I felt that I needed to be strong and not let anyone see me cry. Caging it all in only made it excruciatingly painful when I finally did let it out. when I did, it somehow made it easier to breath. To wake up every morning and not feel that pain in my heart. To be glad and extremely grateful for having her in my life as long as I did. To remember the good times and how she made me laugh. I will always love her. I will always remember her. I will always miss her.